The sudden hurt ever so often.

He sipped his tea, the only thing he made an effort to make. It was hot water with his favorite flavored tea bag and a spoon of sugar. Nothing fancy and yet, it appealed to him just perfectly. The chill had just begun to go down, and he had promised himself that he would also try to be warmer.

He logged onto his profile and saw a few happy new years here and there and then that one post on his wall.

Happy New Year. Bless!

It was the exact same greeting, but for the fact, that it was from her.

She, of the past and yet of the present. She, who had no business wandering in his head, but yet, there she was, always. It was crazy how it made him hate and love the same thing so much. They had moved on, hadn't they? And all these greetings were a proof to that moving on. She would greet him during every festival and he would be moody about it. Sometimes, he would collectively answer 'thanks everyone' and sometimes, do nothing.

He was a little angry that she was keeping her end of the promise, even after years. If she could have just been a bitch, this would have been easier. He wished he knew what was playing in her head. And her heart. He wished it was him.

He replied to some of the posts and logged out. The junior came to him asking if he would like to dutch in for a colleague's birthday cake and he absent-mindedly handed her a big note. She smiled, he realised she took the money for what it was and it felt funny that he was now sponsoring the entire cake.

It was lonely, still. He had tried, moved on, made some conquests, made some classic moves (as his guy friends would tell him) and he had it all. Yet it hurt. Like a small pin that was stuck on the sole of his shoe, and every time he walked, it would prick. And he just couldn't remove the pin cos he couldn't find it. This pain was such, it was there but he didn't know how to correct it.

He had got some news. He had decided then that it was a point of no return (which was funny because it was he who had moved out in the end) and he would only be bitter, mechanical and stone cold about it from here on. And if he was lucky, maybe forget about it too. But no, he felt more human than ever. Betrayed and hurt, pathetic. Like the winters, life was also intent on sending the chill his way, keeping it sunless, keeping it miserable.

But the sun had peeped out a bit today. And the huge glass window in his cabin showed brilliantly on it. Maybe, the sun was around the corner and he didn't know it.

Ah well, confusion was better than disappointment.