Being 'friends'

Well, the fact that Kolkata is losing every other match doesn't help. It is also very hot. So I cant even emote (read cry) because I sweat like mad. Disgruntled, I go for philosophical meetings and am asked why I stay serious. Now, being serious is really not my domain. So I must really be looking horrible if I give the idea that am serious. So I have decided I need to go to the beauty parlour a little more religiously. Women gotta do what women gotta do. After didi left India, it seems I have given up the idea of going to the parlour altogether. Even the parlour staff grin and chuckle when I enter nowadays. Having a fashion conscious didi had more advantages than I thought..

So, met this school friend (who has stayed a friend since then, only that I haven't spoken to her in between for a couple of years) in my Buddhism meets, and well, she hasn't changed. Over the edge, hyper and jumping words, sentences and everything else. Laughing before the joke gets over, guessing about a relationship before its happened and gossiping before the news is even out, all this and more. You would understand if someone would want to maintain his or her distance from her. While I have tried, being a school friend has only meant that there is no escape. Common friends, good ol' school days and now Buddhism, I have succumbed.

Have to meet her daily now, and she does a weird thing. She doesn't speak to me when I am physically present, but smses me as soon as I get back home. Also chats on gtalk and mails and phones. Today, I had to ask. "Why don't you talk in person?"
She tells me, "Am scared, I might say something, and you might make fun of me or hurt me in front of others. Remember how you bashed me up for gossiping about you three years back? So I measure myself before you."
Great.

So, I basically don’t feel good about myself right now. Though I know I bashed her up for the right reasons, I didn’t know it would make that big an impact in her life. I guess some are born with confidence while some are just not. And it is sad sometimes being superior or whatever it is that I am according to her, while she is such a sheep.

Tomorrow, we are doing a skit together where we are playing friends. I really hope it translates into real life. Or well, we will remain what we are now. Sad examples of friends.