saying goodbye the right way-1

God the tears are flowing freely. i cant tell you what this means to me. it means probably more than anything right now. my best friends are giving me farewell parties, i dont know what to acknowledge and what to cry about. i wish things were simple. i wish it was easy to forget. i wish the tears weren't so natural. and then, to remind myself that i had decided to be a shuturmurg. an ostrich that doesn't see what lies ahead. an ostrich that buries her head in the midst of an aandhi. the one who pretends aal iz well.

i am that ostrich. or at least i had wanted to be that ostrich. the feeling is strongly being overtaken by the same old me that cries, laughs and sometimes does both at the same time. its a shit feeling, trust you me. you can have a heartbreak, you can feel rejected, but leave your comfort zone and we will see how you take that. momma, poppa and the friends i made in these 26 years, the fear is, the void is easily filled. that is the fear.

i dont wanna sulk, i dont wanna cry but i am a helpless guy.
i am the human you see on the street. the one that cries and gets up on his feet.
the one that laughs and hugs a ton, the one that pretends all is well and then makes a run.
i am your ordinary man who cant take a goodbye. i am that miserable kid who fails and asks why.
i am the girl who will be what you please,
i am the one who will always need a lease.

this could have been easy, no?

26 is a number and i love maths

i sing a little prayer for me. to the best of life and to manage the worst. food, love, dogs, friends, you and me..26 *deep breath* is a number. its the number 8, it has to be the best.
you didn't just arrive, you are here to stay.
Happy Birthday!