Surviving loneliness...

You know you realize certain things when they happen to you. Well, in the past few months, I have found out something for myself, much to my sadness. I cannot survive alone. Ya, I can hear some saintly creatures laugh out loud in their self confident manner and also some very independent women I know smirking. But that’s that.

And its not like I haven’t tried. I really have. Mom’s illness has made Dad be in the hospital for more than once and I have happily volunteered to take care of the house, promising a running household while the folks were away.

While 11pm came smoothly enough, it took a lot of courage to last till 12am. It was especially painful keeping a look out at the door for ghosts (who had nothing better to do than lurk in my house) around 2am when the eyes wanted to sleep or be donated to science. But I didn’t budge from my look out position on the couch. You see, our couch is strategically placed, it has a view of every other angle of the house, while your back is against a wall. So no chance of a ghost coming from behind. Perfect.

Managing to survive a night alone is all about strategy, especially if you are a chicken. You have to run all your errands on time, finish food, place your pet within an inch’s radius, and make your bed before you get paralysed by fear to go into other rooms in the house. Also, it is ideal if you finish your loo issues for good before retiring, and yes, do not have more water later into the night.

Tata sky is an absolute help on such days, they have an Active Darshan channel that has Sai baba from Shirdi, Siddhivinayak Ganeshji from Mumbai, Krishna from ISKCON and a God from South India whose name ends with ‘eshwar’ always live on your screen. And there are matching bhajans going on each screen, so the ghosts mainly stay at bay.

Watching movies is a good thing, but I have realized that every time I have been left alone at night, the movies coming on tv are inevitably of the creepy variety (Jaws, Psycho and some horror ones I refuse to name) That only makes living to see another day more difficult.

I make plans in my head of inviting friends for night stays, for maggi meals at home, of endless movie watching, of ordering Chinese, but well, most of the days in a week are weekdays (read dumb, I know) and people don’t really manage to participate in such plans, especially when they have work next day. So, its just me again. And my strategies, of course.

If at all, I do fall asleep in the wee hours of the morning, I am rudely awakened by the garbage man whose aim in life is to ask for kuda in the crassest voice in the earliest of hours, making it a great day to look ahead to.

So, I am awake by 6 in the morning with an hour more to go for getting up, and not knowing what to do. That is when I notice the cutest furball on earth, still lying there beside you, sleeping and snoring softly, peaceful and irrespective of the havoc created by the ghosts in my head at night.


When I pick him up and cuddle him into my covers and fall into a little nap till my alarm rings, that is the sleep fit for kings. That is one of the most beautiful things on earth.
That makes these nights worth it.

Loneliness is painful for those who don’t have a dog, I guess..