It's been a while since I have been feeling this way. Of course, it relates to things real and fictional. There is never a sure way to know. There are times when the feeling overpowers me, it tells me this way is better, but then, there is always the pull. The stronger, sharper and the more amazing pull. The other one, the temporary fixation, looks more real, but so does everything that comes with a temptation. But what is the temptation here?
Just a familiarity that comes from the language? Is that enough? All things glitter from a distance, and one should be a fool to think that would last forever. There are too many insecurities in this one human life, too many options, the platter is always too full (am I the only one complaining?) mostly you have no peace. Nowhere, ever. And maybe that is the part that makes you feel alive, wanted and there in the middle of everything. You want to be there, to feel the air on your face, to be the life of the party, accept it, you do.
But its all fleeting.
Two similar moments and this is what you know. The purity of emotions in one case is so strong and yet so subtle. Decades it was there, and yet you never felt its force.
In the second case, its recent, its new, its equally helpless and yet, its mocking in a manner that confuses you and questions your reality. Is it right or am I going all wrong?
Long life, will know soon.
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Why cant the new, recent, the more "fleeting" option also metamorphose into a more pure, deeper and meaningful feeling? Is it impossible? Is it that only the long lasting, deep and pure one is the better option? Could it be that appearences are deceptive? Or maybe I am just an over optimistic moron.
ReplyDeleteIt is better to have too many options than to have no options. The platter is better full than empty. At least that is what I have told myself whenever I have stumbled across similar situations.
Maybe I am too old for the frivolous things in life, but on certain rainy days, I find myself thinking about the most mundane and insignificant things.... like a blog and a blogger... even when there are much more important, relevant and real things to think about... like life. It is strange. And it is perhaps in your own words, a temporary fixation. But then, as a wise woman once said... "i would rather know the whole truth about the attraction than go about life being securely stupid" :)
We always find ourselves on the crossroads of life. Some might argue that they rather they stay right there and believe that not taking up a path is also making a choice but the truth is you can never really escape from the obligation of taking decisions and choosing from the plethora of options without completely knowing what you're really getting into. Never again will you be on that crossroad again so do what you can live with.
ReplyDeleteAm I making sense ? Did I understand what you were trying to convey ? Or am I all wrong ? :P
arre woman.. do not complicate life so much..
ReplyDeleteSimple. Cost benefit analysis. Apply to everything in life. Or just let it be. Things have a way of figuring themselves out.
ReplyDelete@Merlin,
ReplyDeleteit is very much possible that the new fleeting attraction is the real thing, but then we would just be heading to newer destinations all the time..where would that leave us?
and about rainy days and thinking of the insignificant things, its a lovely thought, i totally get you :) i do it when i need to escape, or when i subconsciously escape already :)
@Kanishk, yes u got me well enough..and yes, decisions decisions, i hate them so :)
@sagey,
it helps me simplify life :)
@jil jil,
figuring themselves out works miracles, i agree :) just that i m impatient :|